


and then I Realize... I was Born to Love You

by Serenittybittydipity



Series: Coming of Age - EH [3]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Grinding, Hand Jobs, Sexual Content, Sexual Inexperience, Smut, The timeline is pretty loose here, sexual awakening
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-13 09:53:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29649537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serenittybittydipity/pseuds/Serenittybittydipity
Summary: There was something to her now... something that made him want to hold her tight and protect her. Suddenly she frowns up at him. "You're not just saying that are you?"Eren's expression falls for a second, "No! Historia, I'm being honest."She gazes up at him, stubbornly unconvinced. "Really?""Yes," he says and he gently pulls a strand of golden hair from her face over her ear. Much like she did earlier... when he was still lost in the sensations of waking nightmares. His mind catches on a single memory then...And a flash of something that had teased him before but he could never truly grasp.Find a wife...  have a child. Love someone within the walls.Her blue eyes gaze up at him, shy and curious and daring all at once. A perfect shade of blue that reminds him of something that was once his. That still is.* Part of the Coming of Age series in no particular order ***slight manga spoiler but it's quite blink-and-you-miss-it.
Relationships: Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss/Eren Yeager
Series: Coming of Age - EH [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2067585
Comments: 19
Kudos: 87





	and then I Realize... I was Born to Love You

**Author's Note:**

> If the concept of underage sexual awakening bothers you, please STOP, locate your nearest exit button, and enjoy your journey on the way out. 
> 
> More notes to follow at the end.
> 
> ** I might have to edit the living crap out of this later. I don't have a beta/editor so I apologize if this is all... over the place. Oof.

When he was fifteen, Eren's gaze was unmoving and unrelenting. The fires of hatred and revenge stoking an intensity deep inside him that only the blood of the fallen titans he swore would make pay one day could quench. His heart, young and stripped of all soft desires, hardened into steel and coal, refusing to acknowledge anything that could distract him from his goals.

That's not to say he was unfeeling. 

there were days in their training that Eren could feel the hardened steel in his heart give to the rare morning where he took watch to witness the sun begin its ascent into the sky. This deep inside the Walls, the towering monoliths of their grand birdcage were barely visible to the naked eye. But while others would soften under the glare of the sun, cowed by its intensity, Eren met it straight on. In his heart, he wanted nothing more than to conquer the sun and take its secrets for himself.

He would find some way for everyone to never feel the pain that yanked his youth from his bones and left hardened coal in its wake. 

He swore it to himself back then. And it holds true now.

Yet before his resolve hardens with another layer of steel and anger, Eren waits and watches. Waits until the sky turns that brilliant shade of blue before the sun bursts from the horizon into new birth. If anyone would guess if he has a favorite color, Eren would shrug it off and insist there are other things to worry about.

Deep inside though, it was this shade that captured his heart. The promise of beginnings. The end of the night, conquered and won. He took the envy and desire that color fed him. A promise, an oath to protect and right the wrongs the world has poured over his head. 

He needed to become stronger.

At some point though, in the whirlwind of foreign memories regained, Eren doesn't know when but his eyes have stopped seeking out those quiet moments before the sun rose. As with all important things, all irrelevant ideas were pushed aside to make way for the other violent splashes of color that he was forced to wade in.

Up to his ankles, he would see rivers of blood paint the horizon red. The gradient of orange sunsets burning upwards until he could see Eren Kruger's version of the Attack Titan drop massive ships into the bay, casting the sunlight over the ocean waters in a ravishing brightness, as if the very fires of hell were now rising to swallow them whole. Greens and yellows and violets followed close behind. Survey Corps cloaks, flapping in the wind, mingling and spinning into the endless landscapes of mountain and hills pressed beneath the feet of Titans. The bleak color of yellow over Dina Fritz's hair as she passed a baby into his--no... his father's waiting arms. The swell of happiness in his chest no more foreign than having a hand push put of his own chest cavity, reaching for something-- _anything, please, fuck, anything at all to take him out of these waking nightmares._

Eren's body jerks and his mind spins, disphoria pouring into every cell, every inch and fiber, down to the crawling sensation under his fingernails. It's too much all at once. He clenches his hands over air and something else, trying to shake off the horror of seeing bloody stumps in their place, the pain slicing into his nerves, not unlike the swords he once wielded to slice into hands. Hatred and agony pours down his throat as he's dumped into the ice cold memory of seeing Faye's innocent body mutilated by the hands of that _Marleyan bastard who dared touch his sister and mock his pathetic father who didn't dare lift a finger to avenge her._

It burns through him like acid and the cold, leaving him shaking and begging for the end to come because he can't take seeing the world twist its bloodied jaws and demand more blood from the children behind the walls.

Eren shakes and sobs and tries to make heads and tails of the countless hands pointing at him, the eyes that implore him. To die. To fight. To give in and be destroyed for the sake of a world that benefits from their destruction. He won't. He won't. He won't _he won't he won't he won't he won't_

Eren squeezes his fingers and something squeezes back and the foreign sensations ebb and drain from him. He's not staring at the hull of a ship... but the swaying branch of a large tree and a cloud shaped like a running pig in its back drop.

A cool breeze plays with his hair and something moves in his hand that he is quick to chase after. 

Blonde hair appears over him and the initial view reminds him of Dina-- his heart jumps to his throat and fills him with that swelling happiness that feels like a disease when it fades. Leaving weak and empty and nothing like himself.

"Eren," he hears and his eyes blink. Dina is gone. He recognizes this face and it's a relief he does out of his own archive of memories instead of something else. This alone saves him from losing what edges belong to his soul to the others clambering in his mind. 

"Historia..." he murmurs. She's close enough to touch. His hand lifts and enters his field of vision. His fingers are where they belong. He blinks slowly. Her hair feels soft under the pads of his fingers. 

The squeeze in his other hand reminds him of the fingers she wedged between his. He swallows dryly and removes his hand from her hair. He's almost embarrassed, but that feeling seems distant somehow. As if he were too tired to feel as well.

"Take it slow," he hears her say, gentle and reassuring. She doesn't suddenly start asking questions like Armin would have, and she leaves him to gather his thoughts instead of demanding as to how he felt. Her hand simply holds his, her thumb gently running up and down over his knuckles. 

The latest memory of Dina pulls at his chest, igniting a loneliness he isn't sure if it's truly his or what remains of his father. 

Maybe that's why when he hears Historia shift in her place beside him that his eyes snap back up and meet hers... his breath catches in his chest. At this exact moment in time... the shade of blue in her eyes takes him back to his training days. To the promise and oath he swore in his heart. 

He doesn't look away even as she tilts her head up at him curiously. That's how he's able to notice how her eyes flicker down to his lips. This close it's impossible to not notice and it springs a new memory in his heart.

It'd only been last week... but Eren doesn't think he would forget how she had leaned over him and gently tilted his chin to press the gentlest kiss to his lips. 

It had done the job then. Eren gave in to the sensation and dug his hands under her hair and around her jaw, bringing her back down to try again... and the worst of the memories felt like a distant dream he could scarcely remember. 

They still haven't talked about that. He doesn't know if he should bring it up. But he can't deny how right now... he wants to feel her again with his own skin and forget everything else.

So he leans in and she gasps. 

His lips brush hers, only just, before she pulls away. He blinks and sees her cheeks flush pink.

"W-we don't have to," she says, a bit breathless and he can't help but see something in the way her flesh brightens that endears him. "N-not if you don't want to."

That's odd. Eren frowns and reaches for her with his free hand.

"I wouldn't do it if I didn't."

"Eren," Historia says his name and something else ignites at the way she does. This time when he leans in, she leans in too. The sensation of her lips pressing on his is nothing short of sublime, addicting, like waking up in the bleak hours of the morning to find the sunrise waiting for him to watch its glorious birth all over again. 

Like this it's easy to let his eyes fall close, this time taken by the feeling of his body lighting up with nerves that belong to him and no one else. 

Gently, he allows his mouth to explore hers like he had before. It's so easy to fall into it and he almost laughs... what had he had been so nervous about anyway? Acting all jittery and trying to play it cool, his eyes unable to stop following after her shadow like... like...

It reminds him of Franz and Hannah, in the way they stood by each other and followed one another and made eyes at each other. He doesn't know why that frustrated him so much back then... 

Seeing Historia appear before him, with a light smile and stiff shoulders, cheeks pink with what he thought was sunburn. It made him so weirdly aware of his own body that he forgot what to do with his own hands. He just chalked it up to the anxiety of delving in the place of his mind that frightened a part of him he would never admit to.

Her lips on his though...

Soft and warm, gently chapped from licking them too much. Ah. That imagery is nice. What would it be like if...

She's thinking the same thing. Because she leans harder into him just as he parts his lips to venture the shyest licks against her lower lip. He feels her tongue slip and slide against his instead and he shivers just as she moans at the contact.

_Again._

Through a shuddering breath, Eren releases Historia's other hand to gather her jaw in both of his palms, not wanting her to pull back from the delicious feeling they were both trying out together. 

"Eren..." 

She moans his name softly as he parts his lips, feeling how his name curls and rolls off her tongue in a way he wants to hear and feel again. Blood rushing, Eren shakes the last of the uncertainty in his heart and brings her in closer. Historia pushes up into him, her hands sliding up his chest and over his shirt. Slim fingers caress his neck and dig into his hair, pulling softly at the lengthened strands until Eren can barely stand it.

Something sharp pulls at his mind, distracting him for a moment in a way that aggravates him. Historia's tongue swipes against his again, curious and soft. Eren hums at it in approval and he hopes she doesn't stop.

The sharpness returns and Eren hisses, the sound of waves crashing behind him threatens to overtake him again, he hears Kruger's feet walk up concrete steps-- _dammit, not now!_

"Eren?"

He blinks rapidly, realizing he's ripped himself from Historia’s mouth, gasping. The sound of waves mingles again and he looks to the branches above them. The wind pushing through the leaves sounds so much like... 

His fingers ache, stumps where they should be flexing.

Eren grunts with effort, shaking his head. 

"Eren," Historia says again, insistent and worried. "What's wrong?"

Eren growls and pulls her in close again, lips mashing tight against hers and her fingers suddenly sink tight against his shirt. He tastes alarm in their kiss but he tries to chase the rest away.

Historia whines softly as he pulls away to press his forehead to hers. It's harder to focus now, the ocean waves behind his head fill him with a kind of dread he wants to ignore. 

"We should stop," Historia says softly as he clings to her shoulders. He doesn't remember losing his grip on her hair and it infuriates him.

"No," Eren says and he flinches at the way his voice sounds so desperate. "No, I'm fine."

"...But, Eren," she says.

"No," he says again and pulls away to bear his eyes into hers. That shade of blue, that color that belongs to _him._ He's so close to feeling more like himself than before, can't she understand that? "I need... please."

He can see how her heart aches for him, worried and nervous and wary. He squeezes her shoulders again, trying to think of the words.

"I... you bring me back," he says and he probably sounds nonsensical but it's what fits best now. "You bring me back and I need to _stay_ here, Historia. Please."

Her eyes search his for a moment, wide and blue and gazing up at him in a way that's her and only her. Her palm sneaks up to caress his cheek as a breeze pulls his hair over his eyes. 

"Alright," she says, and there's a determined gleam blossoming in her irises that makes his heart skip a little. Her lips pull up and he realizes how she glances down at his mouth again, pupils expanding. It settles in his chest that she wants this as much as he does. Which is why when he pulls her harder against him, her fingers find his collar to grip and yank just as hard.

_Good._

She lifts up to her knees, forcing him to crank his head back and gasp when she forces them to fall back to the grass and the blanket they had brought back from the barn. 

She takes charge of the kiss in a way that makes him groan and shudder, clinging to her pink shawl and the swell of her hips. She climbs on top of him and if he were the Eren of a year ago he would have probably panicked and thrown her off. He doesn't and there is something about the way she presses herself on top of him that makes the nerves in his hips jolt, the blood rushing down his belly in sparkling heat.

Her tongue curls in his mouth, pulling away to coax his to come out. It's kind of thrilling and weird but Eren's body reacts in a way that never has before. He recognizes the stiffness growing in between his legs, something he'd woken up to and dealt with firm tugs to get the deed done and out of the way in his trainee days. Pressed flush together like this makes it feel different, his body is unable to ignore how her curves push against his, how she murmurs his name against his lips when he drags his palms over her back to dig into her clothes.

Historia sighs and slides up his body and her leg rubs against him as a result. 

"H- _haah...!_ " 

Th... that's never felt that _good_ before. 

Voices rise in the distance and for a second he nearly huffs in aggravation, believing the source to be from his mind until Historia abruptly stops kissing him. It stuns him, leaving him to stare up at the shifting sky and clouds with confusion. He blinks and sees her looking out at something with alarm.

"H...ah? Historia?" 

"Ssh," she shushes him, turning her face back down at him, cheeks flushed pink so prettily his heart jumps at it. "Behind the tree."

"Huh?" He says dumbly, blinking up in a daze. She frowns at him and pushes off him to the side, her hands pulling at his clothes.

"Come on!" She whispers heartedly. "Or we'll get caught!"

That confuses him even more but he follows close after, shifting and scooting up to press his back on the tree, trying to throw a glance over his shoulder. "They know we're out here, though," he tries to say but she presses a hand to his mouth to silence him.

Something about it all seems so silly he can't help smile against her palm. She senses it and looks back down at him with a scolding look.

"Shush!" 

That's even funnier. "But," he mumbles against her palm, "I didn't say any--"

Historia shoots him a look and he obeys, rolling his eyes. He can't look over his shoulder to see so he takes that moment to realize their positions. She was straddling him, skirt bunched up over her legs. His hands had fallen at her hips to steady her as she peeks off the side of the tree. She's settled higher up on his belly, her arms caging him as if protecting him from view. He has a direct line of sight to the dip in her blouse and spot a curious little birthmark under her collarbone. Like a freckle. Some amorphous star shape that Eren likes immediately.

He glances up at her and sees that she's still peering off the side of the tree, clinging to him so she doesn't fall. She's light and easy to hold ... so easy to touch like this.

Eren gulps again, he's nervous and it does him no good to feel this way when she's so serious. His heart pounds in his ears, and after a while, Historia sighs softly pushing away from the tree to glance down at him again, the sunlight pours loving shapes through the tree over her hair and it stuns him again when she smiles down at him.

"All clear," she says and her mouth pulls in a nervous little grin that makes his insides melt. 

She slips her palm from his lips and caresses his cheek again. It reminds him of happier times, sunsoaked laundry and the laughter of his mother in his ears after he jumped out from under the linens. 

"Should we stop here?" She asks softly, and he looks away from her mouth to gaze into her eyes. There's a warmth there, something hesitant and shy. God ... that's the last thing he wants to do.

"No," Eren says, and he pulls her hips down with a gentle tug, palms hungrily wanting to explore more of her hips than ever before. She shivers in response and he sees how her pupils expand again, going hazy with the feeling curling in his gut. "Did you want to?"

"Mm-mm," she hums in the negative, eyelids half closing as she wiggle down to lower her face to his. Her hand on his face traces featherlight over his jaw just as he drags his left to sink into her hair. "I don't."

It's all so easy.

Almost frighteningly easy. Like his body knows what to do when she sinks down to press her lips to his and her tongue swipes a gentle caress to his teeth. His jaw drops, easing the muscles in his neck just so he can give them more room to work and breathe. Their tongues rub in a way that feels obscene, sloppy and kind of unrefined. He would have never guessed that she likes to kiss so brazenly, but then again maybe that is so like her. To think about what she wants first and others second. 

Lucky for him their wants align so well here. 

Her fingers pull at his hair just as a line of slick slips down his chin. Eren groans openly, her thumb catching the bit of spit just as his other hand squeezes her side. She whimpers, the sound high and tight and _fuck_ that's pretty. 

Her hips roll in response to his grip tightening over her and it awakens the blood to spin faster under his skin and jolt the familiar tightness between his legs. He feels himself push up against his trousers, brushing against something firm.

Historia gasps and pulls away, lips ripping from his and it makes him groan in protest. For a second, his stomach drops when he sees the surprise and alarm in her face, and it catches up enough that he suddenly feels mortified as to what just happened. 

"Eren," Historia says, sitting up on his hips. "Is that--"

"W-wait don't--" he tries to stop her but she scoots back and ends up sliding down over him so suddenly, Eren yelps at the sensation. It tugs at the hot coil in his abdomen, making him tremble.

"Ah--sorry," she says. She wriggles on top of him and it feels so _good_ that all his strength momentarily goes slack and he curls down on himself, his head landing on her shoulder. 

" _Historiaaa..."_

She stiffens, his hands on her hips, both clinging tightly and holding at bay. The pleasure of her sitting directly over him, her skirt doing very little to distract that... if there was nothing between them... he'd be pressing up right _there._

His ears and neck have never felt so hot, sweat begins to bead on his lower back and he realizes that he's trembling. His mind races, caught between testing out the feel of her weight over his erection and shoving her off to apologize. 

But he still doesn't quite feel so strong. Like this it's harder to ignore the faint sound of ocean waves haunting the back of his head, threatening to pull him back into another waking nightmare. 

Historia shifts again and he whines. She makes a soft sound and Eren wants to hide his face in her neck and _bite..._

"Eren," her voice spins in his ear like something rich and lovely. "Look at me."

 _Yes, yes, anything,_ he lifts his head. _Whatever you want._

Her blue eyes gaze up at him, not with reproach or wariness, but with a heated curl of _something good_ that makes his chest expand to allow his heart to trip over it. 

"Let me," she says, soft and gentle. He nods, knowing nothing about what she's talking about but whatever it is, he'll happily do it if it means he can make heads or tails out of his own nerve and body. Her hands wrap around his and he realizes then she means to push off.

His heart takes a harder tumble down and he lets go quickly, feeling heightened and ashamed. He thinks he's about to start apologizing when she lifts up. Instead of standing up and leaving him to this spot under a tree in this secret little area on the farm, Historia inches back a bit, hands rearranging her skirt before settling back down on his thighs. 

Eren stares at her, surprised. Only then does he glance down and realize she's sat herself so that his excitement tents up between them. What is she...?

Her eyes flick up to his, nervous as her hands firmly grip her skirt over her thighs, the proximity dangerously close to where his erection spears up to the sky. His face burns hotter when he notices she's glancing down, as if eager to see.

"...Show me...?" She says it so softly he thinks he may have hit his head on the tree and got knocked out, and this is just the result of an overstressed brain and a wild imagination. But the weight of her on his legs is real and so is the way she leans toward him. If he's dreaming... then this isn't as bad as it could be.

"Are you sure...?" He asks and his heart has achieved double time, pushing blood harder through his veins and the swell in his pants could not be more obvious. If there were a worst time to lie and say he doesn't want to, it's now.

Historia's hands let go of her skirt, the material bunched up over her creamy thighs and hiding that special part of her he has only just fully realized exists. One of them reaches for his face, caressing the lock of hair flicking against his jaw over his ear. She nods. 

"Let me help you..." she says, eyes gone hazy again. Lips parted and tongue looking inviting behind her pretty white teeth. "As much as I can..."

Eren swallows, caught in the spell of her gaze. She's leaning up toward him again, chin angling for a kiss. He is quick to oblige her this blessed necessity. 

Eren gets lost in the tiny whimpers he coaxes from her throat, his hands finding her sides again to yank her close to him. Historia wiggles in his lap again, subtly rocking her hips against him in a way that confuses him for a moment before his hand slips to brace her spine and digs down mindlessly to squeeze her ass.

" _Oh!"_

All coherent thought disappears, the last of the blood in his head rushes to pulse between his legs, making his own hips twitch upward towards her. Just as he's gotten bolder in touching her over her clothes, she surprises him by slipping her fingers under his shirt. Her touch is cool compared to how hot he burns up in response. Historia’s hands run down his chest, pulling at his shirt and dragging it up awkwardly over his stomach. He doesn't mind. He doubts there's anything she could do shy of running away that could ruin this for him.

When they pull away from another heated tongue kiss, Eren nudges his nose against hers, hot breaths bouncing on their cheeks. Her eyes flick back down from his mouth to the space between them and he remembers. Ah, that's right. She wants to see...

Gently, Eren slides his grip on her down her hips and over her thighs. There's a ghost of nervous excitement bubbling in his gut that makes his hands shake a little, but a quick glance at her face and he can't stomach the idea of denying her the chance to see. Her eyes stare down, wide eyed and awed. 

This level of scrutiny is almost nervewracking, but Eren has already decided and she's not backing down. His fingers catch on the button holding his slacks closed. The tips of his fingers slip on that little steel button. He tries again and feels anxious when he fails once more to slip it between the little loop. 

Historia's hands land on his, her touch jolting through him and he nearly bites through his lip in surprise. She says nothing, simply meeting his eyes from the closed inches between them. 

He finds stable ground in that perfect shade of blue and his hands push way until she's got her fingers around the button. They don't look away from each other even after his pants loosen around his hips. 

Noses brushing, Eren leans in to steal a brush of his lips on her parted mouth, lazy and eager all at once. It's a perfect distraction for him to dig his hand into his pants and underwear, the familiar touch of his own skin soothing and a final respite before he pulls.

The breeze feels colder, sunlight kisses his hip bone through the leaves in the branches above. A ray of light traces over his eye and bounces around hers. Perfect blue.

Her hands slip on his wrist as he wraps his fingers around himself. The yank of nerves in his gut unsatisfied if he isn't doing something about himself. He blinks and looks down between them.

A quick glance and he knows she's followed his gaze to where their hands surround him.

Her legs suddenly clench around his thighs, subtly enough that it doesn't throw him off the slow rhythm he usually starts off with. She shudders a breath and he breathes it in. Only now does he pick up on the faint scent of rosemary on her breath from the rosemary tea they shared when they first arrived here. Good...

It's working...

Together they watch as his hand grips around his length, the nervous sweat that had gathered in his palm doing an okay enough job at not making his skin rub unpleasantly. He begins to pick up the pace once the tingling sensation that follows him getting into rhythm pulses deep from his core to the rest of him. 

"Does it hurt?"

Her voice startles him somewhat, making his grip stammer. He swallows and glances back up at her. Her forehead presses against his, he can't distinguish her expression from this close.

"N-no," Eren says, voice thick with arousal, belly trembling. "I... ah... it feels good."

Her thighs tighten around him again, her back arching not so subtly, like she's trying to shift away the discomfort. He almost stops, wondering if she was regretting doing this now.

"Do you--" he's about to ask until she pulls away a bit to look up at him. Her face is bright red and her lips look swollen, as if she'd been biting them.

"Yes," she says suddenly. Eren blinks and stops. His stomach squeezes in protest from abruptly stopping but he schools himself to start pulling his pants back up. 

"Wait," Historia says, her voice high and tight. "What are you doing?"

"I thought," Eren starts before she digs her fingers harder around his wrists.

"Keep going," she says and when she glances back down to look up at him, she adds, "...Please."

 _Anything. Anything you want_. Eren nods and resumes where he left off, more hyper aware than ever how she looks at him and how her expression goes slack with something deep, like longing. 

Her gaze on him makes him shiver and for a second he worries its too much for him to deal with so he leans back against the tree and starts to pump himself steadily, rhythm increasing. It's not totally comfortable, he's certain he's sitting on a root and her weight on his legs is making them tingle uncomfortably even if she is lighter than he is. Still, he doesn't want to stop now, he wants her...

He wants her to _see_ him like this... he wants to see how her face will look when he rises over the crest of pleasure and comes all over himself. Whatever her reasons in doing this with him, Eren knows he doesn't want her to regret it. 

His eyes close after a moment...

Before snapping wide open and jerking his view down to his lap.

Historia's fingers, having shifted away from his wrist suddenly surround him, warm, soft, ...foreign.

His hips buck up at the sensation, making them both gasp aloud.

"H-Histo..." her name breaks on his tongue, his eyes wide and shocked as she slides her fingers around him. The blush returns to his ears and neck, making his mind spin as she gently circles the head of his cock with the very tips of her fingers.

"Can... can I...?" She asks, voice small but her eyes are daring and Eren all but yanks his own fingers from around his length. She glances up at him. He has to bite down on his tongue before nodding. Is it harder to breathe suddenly? Sure feels like it.

Her fingers slip and drag down the curve, gingerly grazing a vein that wraps up the side. Eren's hands find her thighs and hold on for dear life, drawing a groan out of her. He squeezes his toes in his shoes. She's barely touching him and yet why does it feel like nothing he's ever felt...?

"Grab it," his voice comes out gruff and deep, surprising her. She looks up at him, lips parted and there's something like a trance in her face that snaps a little when she breathes.

"Huh?"

"Y'gotta... gotta grab it," he says, leaning his head back on the tree. "With your hands ... not just your fingers."

"I see," she mumbles. Slowly, her fingers wrap around him, they're so slight they barely connect around the thickest part. Eren thinks he can go crazy holding back from thrusting up into her hold, but he doesn't want to spook her. Her other hand wraps around his base and Eren's hips flinch up.

"Did that hurt?" She asks, nervous. Eren shakes his head emphatically. 

"Keep going."

She nods, slowly she starts dragging her palms up to the tip of him. He heaves out a slow sigh, eyes rolling to the back of his head for a moment. Its nothing like how he touches himself and though he wants her to speed up, this is still much better than anything he could have ever expected.

"You're not as hairy as I thought you'd be," she says and it brings him back to the moment. He lifts his head back up to look at her, the pleasure previously broiling in his blood simmers into something slow and delectable.

He wrinkles his nose at her comment. "Our uniforms have zippers... Daz got his pubes stuck in them once during training. We all started trimming it close since then..."

He isn't sure why he says what he says, only that it makes her chuckle, that puts them more at ease somehow. Now he's curious about what she means...

"Have you... seen others besides...?"

Historia huffs, her hands sliding back down slowly, testing her grip and the feel of his curve. "No... well. I have... but I always looked away before I noticed any details..."

Eren takes to pushing his restlessness on her thighs, choosing to rub his thumbs over her milky soft skin. The fine hairs there softer and leisurely to touch compared to his own. 

"...have you ever done this before?" He asks, careful to keep his voice low as she repeats a new circuit. 

"Not with a boy," she answers. He almost asks who until he recalls the way Historia had broken down in front of him ages ago, begging him to use his powers to go after Ymir. He's about to ask about her until he sees her tongue peek out between her teeth.

"It's kind of cute," she says. Eren stutters in surprise at that. "Like a long mushroom."

"Oi," Eren huffs, cheeks flushing red. He shudders when her touch slides up, her thumb trailing over the sensitive flare of glands and the blunt head. "Don't compare my dick to gross things."

"But I like mushrooms," she says before grinning. "I don't know why I was so nervous. This is easy!"

She switches it up then. Her thumb suddenly circles the head of his cock while her other hand begins to pump down, pulling at the skin even more until it drags down and exposes the full head of him to the air. Eren stifles back a moan, his head rolling back, eyes shutting tight.

"Is it good, Eren?"

Her voice is soft, just like her touch, like the hot flesh of her thighs he digs his fingers into. 

" _Yeah,_ " he murmurs. "Yes."

Her pace quickens, gripping down to his base and squeezing up to the tip a little faster than before. Her hand is warm, a bit moist from sweat and the small amount of moisture that leaks from the tip of his cock to dribble down the side. It could be slicker, but this feels perfect for her... she's perfect.

"Do you want me to go faster?"

Eren's hips flex at her suggestion, he nods without saying anything. She does so, her one hand increasing in rhythm up and down while her other thumb plays with the head, making Eren suck in a sharp breath and choke on a groan.

" _Yes,_ " the word hisses through his teeth. "Keep going... _h...aahhh..._ keep..."

She goes a little faster and the speed is almost exactly what he needs except her grip is too loose to get him where he wants to be. Eren's hips jerk up, impatient, as he pants and breaths faster. As a result her hips bounce on his thighs, drawing a shocked moan from her.

Something about it makes him surge forward, and his eyes snap open to meet hers dead on.

Historia gasps as he sits up, her voice starting on his name but stops when he curls a hand around her knuckles. He squeezes her fingers tighter around his cock, matching her pace and giving a little boost of his own. His legs curl up making her lose some of her balance, her body falling over his chest. She yelps, but Eren takes that opportunity to wrap his arm around her, holding her flush to his chest, their heads nearly knocking together.

Historia squirms as a result of losing her balance, her focus compromised as he continues to pump her hand up and down the hot flesh if his length. Eren huffs and works to lower his legs to help. She manages to place her weight on her knees, and finally she's in a position to do exactly as he wants. 

"Eren..." Historia groans, and he lifts his head to catch her open mouth between his teeth. She moans, her grip around him tightening just where he needs it and he groans openly against her. 

"F...fuck, _fuck_ ," Eren heaves, eyes closing as his head falls to her shoulder, nuzzling his nose under her jaw. His tongue finds a spot under her neck that makes her gasp, her other hand releasing his dick to cling to his shirt. Like that he writhes under her, split and enraptured by the salt on her neck, the rhythmic rocking of her hips against his thigh, the maddening pace of her hand jerking him off.

"Eren," Historia whimpers again, just as he drops his legs and her hips bounce against his leg. Eren leans back, taking her with him to lean against the tree. Historia arches her hips, grinding them on his thigh while she lets him guide her further and further down an unknown path. Slick mingles on their fingers, making the grip and slide much easier, more enjoyable.

Eren drops his opposite leg and Historia needs only bring her other knee to place in the space between his thighs. Some form of understanding enters his mind in a brief moment of clarity as he realizes what she's needing. Eren lifts the thigh she's straddling harder between her legs and she gives a low moan when he feels her drag her cunt over the fabric and hot over his thigh.

He starts thrusting up into their joined palms just as she starts grinding down, their hips following a rhythm they've never felt before with each other but find so so easily.

Historia whines, her grip on his cock quaking. "Eren...! Eren... I..."

He feels something hot and wet on his thigh, the sensation like a caddle prod on his nerves when he lifts his chin, and she lifts hers, all for her mouth to press tight around his, their tongues sliding wetly together. With the way he's rocking his hips and she's grinding on hers, it's hard to keep their kiss steady, until their noses end up mashed together. Hard breaths burst from their mouths as Eren feels it climb... climb...

" _Fuck_ , Historia...!"

His legs tingle, his abs burn, and a familiar white hot jolt of pleasure begins to swell up deep inside him. Eren nudges his head out of the way for her forehead to crash on his shoulder, just as he rips his grip from around her knuckles to grab on to his shirt and yank it up over his chest, stuffing the fabric into his mouth.

He just barely manages to make it before his climax pulses from deep in his balls into bursting. Eren hides his face in Historia's neck as he groans loud against her, his body comes with a sharp series of jolts through every joint, bone, and sinew.

Hot ropes of white sticky cum splash against his chest, striping down his abs and ribs. Historia keeps pumping, this time not as hard, but enough to make the rest of it pulse and drip down her knuckles. 

Eren's mind goes blank with pleasure, his body twitching with every squeeze and slide of her soft grip. Four more circuits and he can't take it anymore, his hand shakily wrapping tight around her wrist, stilling her firmly.

When she stops, Eren manages to go limp against the tree trunk, heaving a shuddering groan as the last of his orgasm leaves him tingling at the edges, his belly swooping down to the earth... crotch twitching and pulsing with the force of his release. 

_H...holy..._

Minutes pass with the sound of their breathing echoing hard in his ears, his own heartbeat slowing down from its frenzy in his chest and ears. Historia doesn't move from where she collapsed against his chest and shoulder. He doesn't mind it at all, tightening his hold around her waist as the last of his pleasure burned out of his blood. The soft breath of wind through the trees surrounds him and for the first time in a long time, Eren's mind is blessedly empty.

He wishes they could stay like this for a while longer... but it isn't long before Historia begins to wriggle and push away. Much to his chagrin.

Carefully, they extract themselves from one another a few minutes later. The sunlight is lower in the horizon, kissing the full length of Historia's hair into molten gold. Her cheeks are still bright pink and if he didn't know much better he'd assume it was because of a full day working in the sun.

As she pushes up from him, Eren helps her clean up by grabbing her gently by the wrist and dragging the cloth of his shirt over her hand. They don't meet each other's eyes as he cleans off her fingers and she shakily rises up to her feet. He busies himself with tugging his dick back in his pants. (He's still hard and that's annoying but with enough time he knows it'll go down eventually.)

"Was..." 

He glances up and sees her standing awkwardly a foot away, her hands hid behind her back. She's glancing back and forth between the ground and the spot on his thigh, nervous. 

"S-sorry..." she says finally. Eren blinks in surprise before his stomach drops. Does she regret it already? 

Historia doesn't give him time to spiral into despair, clearing her throat primly as she glances at his lap pointedly.

"I mean about... that." 

She gestures vaguely towars his lap, making sure to look somewhere else. Eren blinks and looks down.

A large wet spot stains his pants where she had sat and ground against and Eren has the slightest moment of panic where he thinks he made her wet herself until he remembers his own sexual education. Inwardly, he kicks himself, but also can't help but marvel at the mess she also left behind. 

Did she also...?

"I don't think I did a good job."

That throws him for a spin. 

"Huh?" 

Historia shrugs, trying and failing to go for nonchalance, her crestfallen expression too visible on her face.

"Uh..." Eren says oh so eloquently. He twists and pushes himself up to his feet, very nearly falling back on the tree when his legs gave a little and shook underneath him. He tugs his shirt over his chest, hiding the drying stripes of cum now cooling uncomfortably over his skin. Another breeze makes him shiver but none of that matters right now.

"What are you talking about?" He asks, and despite wanting to desperately take a nap, his body feels... better. More refreshed. He flexes his fingers and toes. All his. The memories feel more certainly like a faint dream now.

Historia fidgets on her feet, tugging at her clothes. It's odd... but suddenly he doesn't mind the idea of touching her. Whereas before they had been so jumpy in each other's presence since their first kiss last week... now all he wants to do is bring her close and press her hard to his chest. 

But he doesn't want to overwhelm her either so Eren stays his ground. 

"Historia..."

"You're still..." she says and then vaguely motions to his lower half again. He glances down and realizes he hasn't fully calm down yet. "It's... because I didn't do a good job right?"

He stares.

Well, now he has to touch her.

He takes a wobbly step forward, dark hair fluttering with the breeze around his temples. His next step is certain until he's standing in front of her. She gazes up at him, abashed. 

"This just happens with me," he says and he tugs his other hand into his hair nervously. "It always takes a while to calm down... you did great."

"Oh," she says, nodding to herself before blinking up at him. There was something to her now... something that made him want to hold her tight and protect her. Suddenly she frowns up at him. "You're not just saying that are you?"

Eren's expression falls for a second, "No! Historia, I'm being honest."

She gazes up at him, stubbornly unconvinced. "Really?"

"Yes," he says and he gently pulls a strand of golden hair from her face over her ear. Much like she did earlier... when he was still lost in the sensations of waking nightmares. His mind catches on a single memory then...

And a flash of something that had teased him before but he could never truly grasp. 

_Find a wife... have a child. Love someone within the walls._

Her blue eyes gaze up at him, shy and curious and daring all at once. A perfect shade of blue that reminds him of something that was once his. That still is. 

He blinks and he sees her standing before him, expression tired but older, mature just a but taller. A wind pulls at her hair as tears pouring down her cheeks, in her arms she holds the swaddled form of a fragile infant. She reaches for him, heartbreak and agony and joy mingling tightly into a color he's never seen before.

_"Welcome home..."_

He doesn't have to guess why she holds a baby... somehow he knows.

"Eren?"

The vision is gone and for a moment he just stares. He thinks he imagined it and shakes his head. When he looks back up at her, her eyes crinkle in worry and dismay. His body moves on its own.

Her lips feel just as warm and soft as they did when they indulged into the needs of his body, only this time he doesn't kiss her to find an anchor to his body. He kisses her because he damn well wants to.

When he pulls away and cradles her cheek in his hand, he adds this to the list in his head. Yet another way she's been able to save him.

"Thank you," he says. Her blue eyes rise to meet his and she sighs before grinning up at him. Big and bright and nothing like the demure little smiles from their training days. All and entirely, unapologetically her.

"Anytime."

Ah. 

He's fucked. 

**Author's Note:**

> While you won't see me posting much of this, I want to make it clear that I'm basing this on personal experiences since I lost my V card when I was roughly around the age these two are. I gave my first time to my current boyfriend whom I'm still with seven years later. We did a lot of dumb things at that age, but those were also beautiful times where I knew I was going to spend the rest of my life with him. Eren and Historia happen to fit for this exploration. Will I write more for their sexual explorations of each other? Maybe.  
> I'm personally tired of people making sex out to be such a weird thing rather than another part of our growing life. It's really not such a huge deal. And in a lot of cases, it deserves to be shown as awkward and funny and beautiful as it truly is. The best part about fictional characters working as muses for this reason is that no one gets hurt because of it. So if you're really going to throw hands, I advise you: don't. This is a part of me that I put to words. I won't be shamed because of it.


End file.
